Trials.

Pregnancy is one of the hardest/scariest things I have ever had to go through. Not having control of my cervix is absolutely terrifying. Yesterday I had a follow up ultrasound to check the size of my cervix. Although I have been SO diligent to bed rest, my cervix is now "funneling" and has opened to 2 cm, and is completely relying on the stitch to keep the baby in. Dr. Broberg decided it would be best for me to get a steroid shot to help speed up the process of the baby's lungs - just in case he is born premature. He said I still have a chance of making it to 40 weeks, but just in case I come at 30 weeks, we want to be prepared. I have to go back tomorrow to receive another steroid shot. After receiving the news about my cervix, I completely lost it. I have grown attached to this little guy and just want him to be as healthy as he can be. I spent most of the afternoon in tears and thinking things like, "why does this have to happen to me?" "why can't I have normal pregnancies like everyone else?" "how come I have to go through this?" Although I don't know any of the answers to these questions, I need to just focus on the positive and take one day at a time.

 It may sound silly, but I am grateful for this trial. It has made me such a stronger person. I have proven to myself that I can do extremely hard and difficult things. 23 hours a day laying down is not easy! Not only is it physically hard (especially on my hips), it's also mentally challenging. It has put life into perspective and has showed me who/what is really important in my life. This trial has brought me closer to Heavenly Father and I couldn't be more grateful. I know He listens and answers your prayers. He wouldn't give you any trial you can't handle. He knows exactly what you are going through and knows what's best for you. I need to have 100% faith in his timing and know that it will all work out in the end.

I am grateful I get to see this cute lil' face every two weeks! It definitely has been one of my favorite parts of pregnancy!